Dogs are stinky

Every month I go outside for an hour or so to rid the yard of droppings we might miss when letting them out at night. I picked today because it is sunny and mild with very little snow on the ground. I take the dogs with me because, lets face it, they'd probably wet themselves if I was just outside the windows without them. My ass is in the air, a poop-er scooper in one hand, bag in the other, when the little one (George) starts barking like crazy and running toward the street. A man is crossing from the other side, looking thoroughly unconcerned, which is good. It means I only have to worry about my annoying pooch. So I come down the lawn ready to scoop up George (he is only 10lbs)- yelling "stop" calling for him, etc... George ignores all of this. Why didn't George come to me? He was excited. Why did George keep scampering out of my reach when I tried to pick him up? He was excited. Why does George get so excited when strangers come around? He's crazy. George thinks everyone wants to be his friend. If you don't start petting him or playing with him immediately, he barks even louder. He mostly does this to Hoku, who is a master at ignoring George when he is being annoying.
While George keeps barking, dodging out of reach of my hands, guess who panics- the man who crossed the street. He stops dead in his tracks and stares down at my dog. He doesn't keep walking and ignoring the yipping- which i admit, is annoying and I wouldn't like it, but instead of walking on he starts backing up into the busy city street he'd just crossed. George thought this was a great game and followed him. Let's review: If you are a crazy dog trying to make a new friend what do you do when that friend backs away from you? You follow him. Into the street. Into the middle of a very busy city street with a guy who has removed his jacket and is swinging it at you. Now it really is a game!
This is where Hoku gets involved. Sensing that his brother is in trouble, Hoku runs past me into the street too- and Hoku isn't just concerned, Hoku is angry. This is when I panic. My dogs are going to die or bite someone, this man is going to to die or get hurt and it's all my fault because I couldn't get a hold of George in time.
All at once, the man realizes backing up isn't working and he starts walking away. Guess where George goes when that happens? Straight to me. I scoop him up, repremand harshly, give a small spanking and put them both inside. Then I burst into tears and finish picking up the poop. Inside, they both start crying too. Mommy wouldn't let us play with the strange man who turned into the scary man and then mommy yelled at us for protecting her. Oh well, at least they understand. (yeah right)